11.11.2008
A famous poem, by Horace, starts:
Aequam memento in rebus arduis
servare mentem, non secus in bonis
ab insolenti temperatam
laetitia [...]
(Quintus Horatius Flaccus, Carmina II,3)
On the surface, this is a plea for mental discipline in both especially
hard and also in better times: "when things are difficult, keep a clear
head; when all is well, stay clear of excessive joy." Somewhat less obvious
is perhaps that the recommendation goes further than that. It is not just
about how one should react in deeply bad or deeply good situations in one's
life. It is advice that is meant to apply always: the appeal at the
beginning of the poem is memento - "keep in mind". The call for
moderation, then, is not meant as a prescription for extreme situations
only; it is intended to be equally relevant for the more normal,
unspectacular times.
1) This is a common misunderstanding about rules of that sort: they
are often taken to mean that you should remember to remain undisturbed in
difficult situations only, and to make no recommendation for the rest
of your time. So what happens? You read the rule, think about it, decide that
it makes sense and yes, you will try to stay calm when you are in a difficult
situation next time, and then you leave it at that. Some time later, you
get into a rough patch - and you just react as always, you don't even
remember the rule ... (some time later, of course, when things have relaxed
around you, you do remember; and quite possibly get somewhat annoyed that
you think of it only now - but it's too late by then). This obviously doesn't
work.
In order to get yourself to follow the recommendation expressed in
the poem, you have to develop a habit. People normally fall back into their
usual patterns when they face situations that leave not much time to reflect
carefully on all the options and select diligently from them. The only way
to change the way you react in such circumstances, then, is to train yourself
to remember. So it isn't enough just to accept Horace's rule when you read
it, and then hope that you will think of it in the event, and apply it; what
you have to do is to apply it constantly - all the time. One way to do this
is to check every day: just before going to sleep, briefly review your day,
and decide whether it was a good one, or a bad one, or so-so. Consider
your reactions - if it was a bad day, did you keep calm and in control? If
the day was a good one, have you made sure not to be carried away? You will
notice that you quickly develop the ability to have the rule present in
all sorts of circumstances.
2) Still, you can't change by just cultivating a habit of
remembering a rule. You also have to follow it (in a sensible way). When you
are caught in a complicated or emotionally stressful situation, it is not
enough to just be reminded that you should remain calm. How would you
actually do that? The answer to this lies, I think, in making calm reflection
and careful choosing of actions your default behavior.
Here is an analogy: when you start learning chess, one of the first
things you internalize are the rules that govern how the various pieces
move around on the board. For a while, you will have to repeat (silently)
these rules every time you look at a position and try to figure out your next
move, remembering that a bishop can only move diagonally, for instance,
and that therefore those four fields on the board would be currently
candidates for moving it there, and so on, for each of your pieces. You
will notice, however, that with a little practice you don't need to go
through these rules any more: you just literally 'stop seeing' the illegal
moves when you look at a position. You also 'automatically' filter out some
legal, but obviously pointless moves. You just focus your attention to
those possible moves which it makes sense to consider: you try to
figure out how a position would improve (or otherwise) if you did a
certain move, and what your opponent's probably reply would be. Experienced
players are capable of 'seeing' several moves deep into the game in this
manner. In a way, they have developed an ability quite similar to the
simple one that you acquired when you internalized the basic rules - they
simply perceive, in a given position, what the good and the less good
actions would be. (In addition to some internalized 'calculating' of moves,
strategy, experience and an ability to recognize patterns in the game and
the position come also into play here.)
It is similar with the situations you encounter in everyday life (the
situations which Horace's poem is about). What is appropriate here is
finding a well-balanced attitude, a mix of reflection, decision-making,
and action. Keeping a clear head is essential, both in the face of
difficulties and when subjected to the momentum that comes from gladness and
joy. But it is not easy to get to that balance when you try to find it only
in the heat of the situation: you have to internalize appropriate behavior,
just as with the chess rules in the analogy above. Appropriate behavior in
the real life, of course, cannot be encoded simply in rules. Rather, it
consists of a well-tuned sensitivity for the features of the situation,
good judgment and a propensity for doing the right thing, the action which
the circumstances call for. Having developed these, there is a good chance
that you will exercise them even in emotionally loaded (positively as well
as negatively) circumstances - instead of being impressed, and misled, by
the feelings threatening to overwhelm you.
Horace goes on to illustrate how this might be achieved: meditation on
the inevitability of one's death and the futility of collecting assets or
immersing yourself in life-style activities will put many of your losses and
achievements into perspective. Thinking about this will prompt questions -
questions about what you expect from your life as a whole, and how many of
those activities that fill your days fit in there. Reflecting on this, you
may well start to change, and develop towards judging and acting more in
accord with what's really necessary, not with what looks pressing (or
attractive) just now. You will notice that then you can succeed much more
easily in finding that balance of mind - both in hard times and when things
go really well.
3) The important aspect that I'm trying to point out here is
unfortunately lost when people just quote the first half of the sentence
(i.e., they only quote Aequam memento, in rebus arduis servare
mentem), as it often happens. This obscures not only the point that it
is as necessary to remain unexcited facing positive developments in
one's life as it is when confronted with negative circumstances; it also
leaves out the insight that it is a habit of constantly having this
requirement in view which enables one to do so. Discipline isn't just for
tough times.
